Smartphones & Dying Relationship

SMARTPHONES are Breaking More Real Time Relationships than Connecting us with near dear ones!

 True or False? Let’s Reflect…

  • Would you enjoy a distracted eye gaze and attention when sitting or lying next to eachother?
  • Isn’t it stealing your quality and valuable time together?
  • Isn’t sneaking your partner’s phone gallery or chats only to shock yourself leading to a heartbreak?
  • Isn’t memories about feeling the presence and breathing in the beauty of spectacular places than shooting selfies?
  • Isn’t  intimacy of real time conversation unbeatable than sex-texting?
  • Isn’t smartphone becoming a nuance in family gathering and lovers den?
  • Isn’t it your story too?

Have we gone ga-ga over whatsapping or insanely hooked to it?

Are we not in control ?

Are we not sensitive enough to switch off notifications & distractions?

 

Can you relate to the anxiety that one feels when their phone runs out of battery or it accidentally stops working?? Well there is an actual term for it, “NOMOPHOBIA”. It is an abbreviation for “no-mobile-phone phobia” which is affecting our younger generation much more seriously than it is deemed to be. 

Our dependency on smartphones has increased so drastically that now it is affecting and in certain cases, replacing real relationships. There was a certain case where a couple split up because during every conversation, one of the partners was interrupted constantly by the notifications or calls. This ignited a subtle sense of rejection in the other partner which accumulated till the point of no return.
This could have been dealt differently if the first partner would have turned off his/her phone or notifications during the conversations and then would have dealt with them collectively at once.

There was also a situation where marriage ended because a certain young man was addicted to gaming. He spent most of his evenings and his weekends playing the game. His wife recalls being intimate with him only three times in the six months that they stayed married. After trying all sorts of tactics, she quickly escaped the marriage and her partner never contacted her demanding an explanation.

To account for the seriousness of it, this is what Forbes has to say on smartphone addiction, “A brain on smartphone is the same as the brain on cocaine: we get an instant high every time our screen lights up with a new notification. It’s all thanks to dopamine, the feel-good chemical that gets released every time you do something you enjoy, like eating your favourite meal or getting a hundred likes on your latest Instagram post. Dopamine reinforces (and motivates) behaviour that makes us feel good and, in turn, can create addiction.”

While using a smartphone it is easy to hide the feelings by using a different smiley. Hiding behind a screen also prevents us from the nervousness of a real confrontation. This ease is creating a comfortable bubble which people are slowly refusing to leave. Problem here is that this bubble is also blocking the real-world interactions with the people who are actually close by. Virtual hugs are replacing the warmth of  real hugs and connection.

In all honesty most of the people would agree that they have difficulty with the real world interactions but rather than facing those difficulties it is more comfortable to hide inside the bubble. There are certain ways through which we can actually balance our virtual and real life.

1. Dedicate certain hours that you are going to spend with your partner without any interruption from the mobile phone. Use these durations to interact with each other and getting to know each other better. A small date in the nearest coffee shop, a gym workout together, or a nice walk in the nearest park would do. Find your own time to create a world which is only for the two of you.

2. Inform your partner regarding your work and have a mutual understanding to give each other the necessary space. Deal with your online work, emails, calls etc collectively. It is easier to wrap them up in a go rather than checking them over and over and doing them repeatedly throughout the day.

3.Turn your cell phones off one hour before bed. It will improve the quality of your sleep. It will also give you a little time to hug your partner, have small discussions regarding both of your dreams and goals. You both can spend that time reading together or simply holding each other and having your own fairytale moments. Or you can use your creativity and experiment with your sex life.

Remember, social media connects us to the people who are far away but it also distances us from the people who are around us. So it is important in any relationship to make some time for each other, distraction free. We need to understand and embrace the imperfections of our world which will never be like the photo shopped, filtered virtual version of it. 

STAY AWARE BE SENSITIVE …

 

 

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