Married Man & You

Married Man & You…Dead End Affair!

Falling in love is the best thing that can happen in one’s life. But this feeling can turn into a disaster if you fall for a married person. A disaster full of adventure and intensified feeling that can destroy you from the core.

While talking to one of my friend Ridhima who is dating a married guy I asked why do you want to fall for a person who cannot guarantee you a future? She replied very sheepishly, “Love is blind and follows no boundaries, Shivanya!”  And my thought arose ‘If only it was Love!” However, she was not willing to see the Truth!

Like her, there are many who are trapped in this Married Man Love Affair. It may add days to your Life and some adrenalin rush for few steamy nights and dreamy days! Soon this will be the Biggest folly you will regret. All that seemed perfectly beautiful and acceptable will become ugly cry! Your making sense of all this torrid affair will soon be seen as Nonsense by many who know, which of course you will be in denial until the Time Reveals!

Couple of my clients had a major breakdown leading to suicidal attempt too…Until their helpless parents or well-wishing friends recommended seeing me, as their Relationship Counsellor. She had lost all hope and meaning in Life. And another male client had taken to drugs and alcohol to numb his ache and sweet memories. Men too can be caught in Married woman’s nurturing love soon to be shown the door! However, let’s discuss why Women choose or fall for Married men

Some confessed how confused they felt looking at the Married man and his wife smiling on social media pictures on Instagram and Facebook. At times feeling jealous and let down for not being a part of Birthdays, Christmas, Diwali and other festivals or social engagements.

Many married men who have affairs will give common excuses as to why they are cheating on their wife and also why they can’t leave their wife and kids. Did you hear your married lover say, “I don’t love her anymore and I don’t think I ever did”, “I haven’t divorced her because of our children,” or “We don’t sleep together and haven’t for a very long time”, “She was not my choice, my parents forced her on me”. “I loved her dearly but she cheated on me” And for your surprise wife is totally Ignorant and happily married wife!

There are many cons of dating a married man. Can’t say what are pros until it has platonic affair or Open Marriage association.

Majorly there are only cons in a monogamous marriage. The pros which seem to be positive can turn negative anytime with the twist of events… Before I pour my thoughts about why women should never date a married man let me just throw some light on why woman feel attracted towards married man-

 Why do Women feel Attracted towards Married Man?

Married man tends to give a feeling of commitment. They are already in a committed relationship. This gives a sense of security to a woman.

Married men are grown up in sense of education and earning. They seem responsible and mature.

If a woman is not looking forward to settling down and just needs emotional support she is most likely to turn to a married man.

A woman feels special if a married man flirts with her because he is already in a relationship and he risks his relationship for her!

Some women have commitment phobia so they attract married men or fall for them.

Married men are more attractive as they appear mature as against single men

And most of all, they do not have to be bounded or limited in Life.

25 Reasons Why You Should Never Date A Married Man…Without Making Excuses!

  1. A married man will never give you his undivided attention, and he will never place you anywhere near his top twenty priorities. His primary focus will be his wife and family
  2. Even though he’s the one that made it difficult to say “No.” And even though he tells you how wonderful you are, at some level, he’s going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such an arrangement.
  3. Society will judge you and you will be labelled as a home breaker
  4. You will not be able to contact him anytime you want. He will not be available for you every time and anytime.
  5. You will always have to live in uncertainties and your relationship will not have a future.
  6. You will have sleepless nights when he will be with his wife, wondering how he is pleasing his wife.
  7. If he can cheat on his wife, he can anytime cheat you too.
  8. You will be termed as a side chick or spare tyre
  9. You will be treated like Pariah if his wife finds out anything
  10. You will lose your social circle for him because you will always need time to be with him.
  11. You will not be able to celebrate festivals and his special days with him. He will be that time with his family.
  12. Being with a married man is always emotionally painful and destructive
  13. In case you have a child in this relationship then he/she will have no future and will be illegitimate
  14. You can never claim that person to be yours in front of anybody or socially
  15. You will always have to hide your relationship with everybody. You will be his secret
  16. By falling for a married man you are going against the law
  17. He can anytime leave you anytime and unexpectedly too without a closure!. You are dispensable
  18. Other men who find out your story will find you as an easy target for unwanted attention
  19. If you are fantasizing that you were destined to be together, just rethink maybe you are wrong. Maybe he is just with you to boost his ego
  20. You both can plan a secret weekend romantic trips but with all the anxiety pangs and sometimes he may leave abruptly on a family call.
  21. You may have to listen to his sob stories about how his wife making his life hell. Even though she may not be.
  22. In an unlikely event if you are seen by any of his relatives or friends you will be introduced as a cousin or other relative and not as a girlfriend
  23. Your house is not his safe haven where he feels at home and loved. He comes there to relieve some of his urges for a few hours before he can kiss you goodnight and speed off to his home.
  24. You don’t matter to him. He won’t bother to return your call or text you back as spontaneously as you do or want him to.
  25. If he is caught red-handed with you there is no surprise that he may shift the entire blame on you. And you may be humiliated and insulted by his angry wife publicly too!

BREAKING FREE …Before it Breaks You!

  1. Be strong – For breaking ties with your married lover you will have to be emotionally strong. Communicating to him about the break up will be the biggest challenge for you.
  2. Do not stalk him – If you stalk him after break up you will not be able to move forward. Allow yourself to take “U” turn in Life
  3. Spend time with your loved ones – Spending time with people who love you will help you in coming out of that relationship. It will also keep you occupied.
  4. No communication with your Ex-No communication is the thumb rule for you to break ties with that person. If you think you can talk to him just like friends you are fooling yourself.
  5. Love yourself – Do not seek your happiness in others because it lies within you. Love and pamper yourself. Try to make yourself happy by doing things you like.
  6.  Take Counselling – Try counselling to come out of that relationship. Counselling will help you in two ways, firstly to come out of your stress for breaking this relationship and secondly to improve your relationship with yourself

Maybe you feel like he’s the only man for you because he told you that you’re the only woman he truly loves. And it will be hard to break away. But the harsh truth is it’s a Dead end affair! You will need to heal, to set yourself free from the guilt, grief, pain, shame, and heartache… And it is a journey within! 

Time is too precious to waste. Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older? Because it’s convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a married man can go on for a long time — and before you know it, eat up the precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing. When people who have been involved with married men finally move on, they often regret having wasted the time in a dead-end affair.

Hope you will Not Waste your Life Time Love and Energy on a Dead End Affair!

Connect with me in Total Confidentiality and let’s Break-free!

Shivanya Yogmayaa ,

Your Relationship Counsellor 

WhatsApp +917261950450 or Call on +91-8197108500 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Pratiksha Trivedi says:

    Very precise and true. A real help for those trapped with this sort of a relationship.

  2. Neelam says:

    Well explained! 🙂

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