Why most would be bride and groom should consider Pre-Marital Counselling? As a counselor for many married couples I see that chaos and complications are inevitable but if pre-marital counselling is done before the marriage , it ensures our preparation of new life and harmony with our partner.
Marriage is a very complicated relation. It is not only a union of two individuals but also a bond of two families. Therefore, pre-marital counselling becomes indispensable in order to get some understanding about this union.
Pre-marital counselling is a type of therapy that every couple should go through before tying the knot to maintain harmony between the two.
Let’s consider two situations:
1) Abhishek and Aarohi decided to get married. Their families met and fixed a date on which they finally tied the knot. Later, they had arguments almost on a daily basis. Aarohi couldn’t
adjust in her new life. Finally, they decided to go separate
ways. Now, this can be avoided if they had a proper conversation and counselling before finalizing the matrimony.
2) Reema and Gaurav liked each other’s profile and they enrolled for a pre-marital counselling. They met the counsellor and went through a few sessions that helped them know each other and therefore, have a strong base for their relationship. Therefore, later on they could resolve their arguments in a healthy manner.
A premarital counsellor usually asks questions related to your life, past, relationship history, hobbies, interests and other such questions to know about you and your partner. This kind of premarital counselling can range from 1 to 12 sessions. It is recommended to at least attend 5 to 6 such sessions before going ahead with the marriage.
Here are some ways in which a pre-marital counselling helps the couples:
1. Discovering Each Other – It helps the couple to understand
each other and know their interests, strengths and
weaknesses. It also allows them to discover what they enjoy
and what they do not.
2. Understanding His and Her Needs – The questions and
topics discussed in these sessions lead the couple to
understand each other’s needs from the relation.
3. Health and Intimacy – Since in an arranged marriage
situation, the couple is often unaware about each other’s
medical history, such things can be discussed in the
counselling session. The important questions related to
intimacy and future that they may be reluctant to ask before can
be addressed in such sessions.
4. Adjusting to Your New Life – Marriage marks the onset of
a new life for both individuals. During such sessions, the
counsellor often shares some tips to adjust to the new life that
begins after marriage.
5. Relating to Your In-laws and New Family – To make a
marriage work, the couple needs to relate to their in-laws and
the new family. The ladies need to be more accommodating in
this situation; however, it is important for men too to be familiar
with their in-laws and be involved with their new family.
6. Accepting Differences Harmoniously – Now, every couple
will have their fair share of differences. The pre-marital
counsellor helps you to acknowledge these differences and
accept them for a harmonious relationship.
7. Art of Managing Conflicts – The therapist or the counsellor
also addresses the conflicts that are often unavoidable. Every
relation has conflicts but managing them effectively is a trick to
be mastered. If these conflicts aren’t dealt properly, they may
blow out of proportion. It is therefore important to understand
each other’s nature and function accordingly to work your way
around the arguments.
8. Nurturing Love, Romance and Chemistry – If you are
going ahead with the matrimony, you must understand how to
gradually foster love and romance and how to build a strong
chemistry as you grow into the relationship.
Therefore, pre-marital counselling is an effective tool to use as you begin your married life to discover helpful ways to improve communication and acquire conflict management skills.