Widows Woes

Widow woes in India!

Marriage made in heaven or earth it sure comes to an end by natural death as much by unexpected events. Life doesn’t come with a manual for unprepared turnarounds like death of our partner. Every culture and countries have their own way of treating the widows and widowers. This article I have dedicated to the Indian widow’s woes. 

Though both widows and widowers go through an emotional turmoil when their loved ones depart, widows suffer more as compared to widowers. In ancient times, the life of widows was really tough. As times are changing, the restrictions have started to ease out a bit, nevertheless, life of a widow isn’t easy. Despite the modern outlook seeping in, widows are subjected to a lot of torments.

Here are some issues that they face in their day to day lives.

  1. The other men in their family or extended family start approaching them in a different manner.
  2. Their sex life is often questionable.
  3. Their social life gets corrupted.
  4. Their husbands’ friends often misbehave and make sexual advances at them.
  5. Their responsibilities increase subsequently with financial burden, in some cases.
  6. There is prohibition of remarriage and therefore their interaction with other men is often misread.
  7. They have to fight for inheritance rights as in most cases, the property and other savings land up in the name of the eldest son in the family.

There are many more ways in which these widows grapple. Such treatment often is harmful to the mental health of these women who lose their spouses and have nowhere to go. Here are some ways to start the recovery process:

  1. Acknowledge and grief– It’s essential to accept the death of your spouse and go through the grieving period. Mourning the loss will help you to let go off them properly. However, do not give in to this sadness.
  2. Declutter your surroundings – You have spent a considerable amount of time and made a lot of memories with your partner. Now, it’s time to declutter. When you let go of someone so integral, you have to let go off all their belongings as well. 
  3. Take stock of things – This is a crucial stage in the recovery process. After letting go and decluttering, sit down and start analyzing the financial matters—clear off the debts for a new beginning.
  4. Do not stop seeing your friends – Keep your social circle active. Move around and explore new places. Keep the conversation going! Distract yourself so that your partner can stay in your heart but doesn’t become a hindrance in rebuilding your life. 
  5. See a therapist to get professional help – If the process becomes too much and you feel like giving up, feel free to connect to a therapist to realign yourself on the growth path. A therapist or a counselor doesn’t judge and offers you a new perspective on dealing with life with more insights, vigour and  empowered self.

Remember it’s okay to seek help. What is not okay is giving in to depression and losing hope in yourself!

Connect with Shivanya Yogmayaa and learn to face with grace!

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