Mother I Love You…

Let’s go down the Memory Lane… and take a moment to reflect on the kind of relationship you have or had with your mother.

What did it look like? Feel like? Sound Like? Does it remind you of Good, Bad or Ugly times? Or maybe, a mix of all?

Do you remember your tears silently falling into the pillow or crying out loud as a rebel?

Do you remember how she sounded to your ears? Pleasant or harsh?

Do you remember how she caressed you or slapped you unmercifully?

Do you remember her sweet whispers or yelling loud on top of her lungs?

Please note that we also carry father wounds, but in this article, I want to specifically focus on our mothers, on Mother’s Day! May you heal & resolve your relationship issues with your Mother. What could be a better Gift to Yourself & Her! 😉

Undoubtedly our mothers have played a pivotal role in our development as a child which influenced our emotional and psychological growth. And even as we grew into our Adult selves with our own kids they still run our Life story in our head as her voice, through which we filter our life and relationship with self and others too.

I have counselled many women and men who share the story of their childhood – how their mother had nurtured them with food and shelter but also left them with the scars of emotional havoc and family drama, sometimes as a Single mother or Married woman. And how they continued to carry unresolved disappointment, grief, fear and resentment towards their mothers long into their adulthood…

Our Mother Wounds brings in Traumas & Dramas. When left unresolved, we pass on the same on our children too unconsciously. These wounds consist of toxic emotions, oppressive beliefs, ideals, power play, perceptions and projections. Finally, our children repeat the cycle… centuries of unresolved pain.

If you are having unresolved Mother Wounds you will experience the following problems:

• Self-Sabotaging impulses & behaviours
• Possessing weak or no boundaries and an inability to say “No”
• Self-blaming
• Low Self-esteem
• Judging and Negative Self-talk
• Sibling competition
• The inability to Speak Authentically
• Sacrificing Dreams & Desires
• Co-dependency in relationships
• Underlying Anger & Resentment
• Seeking Approval
• Needing Validation from your mother in every area of your life

How many of you carry this belief that “I can make my mother happy if I’m a good girl/boy.” OR “I was responsible for my mother’s pain”? The truth is that we weren’t nor are responsible for our mother’s pain or tears – only she is. We can’t make our mothers happy unless she truly decides to be happy. Unfortunately, we as children were not aware of this and on a subconscious level, many of us still feel we are the culprits of our mother’s angst…

STEPS TO HEALING YOUR MOTHER WOUND

If you are still nursing the Mother Wound it is vital that you learn how Healing the Mother Wound within you has the potential to transform your life and improve your relationships multifold. Many mothers and daughters, sometimes sons too, have difficult relationships, but this is rarely spoken of openly. Bear in mind that healing the mother wound in yourself does not necessarily guarantee an amazing relationship with your mother but it sure will set you free of the past glitches and hiccups. Sometimes your mother may not be emotionally mature to heal together with you.

Healing the Mother Wound within you will transform your life. But if you chose to overlook the wounds, it will ruin and rule your life patterns as a Vicious Circle!

How it can Damage your life if You did Not Heal your Mother Wound:

• It will Affect your Marriage or Love Life
• Lack of Focus in your Career
• You will feel lack of Confidence
• Make wrong choices of Men
• Sexual Guilt & Shame
• Feeling Unloved
• Instability in overall Life
• Sense of being Lost
• Lack of Belongingness
• Confusion about Self Image
• Insecure & Unsafe
• Trust Issues
• Loss of Power
• Blame game & Victim play

JOURNEY FROM THE WOMB TO THE NOW

Could it be a Karmic Knot …Yes indeed!

Relationship blocks may also arise from before you entered her womb, and birth trauma faced by the unborn fetus too. It could also have past life connection which is being projected in this lifetime. Also, her own insecurities, fears, and frustrations may have directly affected the psyche of the unborn you. Sometimes her emotional absence and unacceptance of you may leave you feeling Abandoned. Thus trust issue and fear of Rejection could impinge you subconsciously. You may become emotionally unavailable to your partner or children as a reaction to the past.

And Today let’s Just Take a Moment to Remember Her Sacrifices, Her Pain, Her Care and Thank her for the same in whatever Avatar and Awareness She Nurtured Us against All Odds!

I Urge you to Call Her, Write a Note to Her, Gift Her your Presence, and Forgive Her too!

And Most of All… Thank her for giving Birth to you! 

Are you still carrying unresolved pain from your childhood, or are you in the process of healing the Mother Wound?

Do you feel you are Ready to Let go and Heal the Wound & Embrace your Inner Child?

I have sailed through the same and still consciously grow in Love with Her…

Will be glad to help you through the Journey!

Love Always!

Shivanya Yogmayaa,

Relationship Coach