Post Divorce Life

Post-divorce Recovery

When two people come together, so many people join them in the celebration of their union. However, when they decide to go on separate paths, suddenly all these people are divided. Friends wither away, society judges them and parents start to taunt them along with distancing themselves. So, the two individuals are left to survive and recover on their own post-divorce.

Let’s consider two situations:

1)     Akshay and Isha were married for 4 years. They had a turbulent marriage with constant arguments though they loved each other a lot. One day, Akash just abruptly decided to call it off.

2)     Diya and Sumit had a bitter-sweet relation during their 15 years of marriage. They wanted to end the arranged marriage but stayed in the bond because of their children. Ultimately, the distance weakened the relation resulting in divorce and fighting a custody battle.

It isn’t easy to move on after a divorce even if it is with a mutual consent. Healing from such separation can be a long process and often people give up mid-way succumbing to depression.

Here are some ways to grow through the process of healing:

1.     Acknowledge the separation/break up/divorce– The first step is to stop denying what has happened. You have to stop living in the fantasy of what could have been. Just open your eyes and accept that the marriage/bond wasn’t working in your favour.

2.     Give yourself enough time to overcome the sadness – Losing a loved one, a companion isn’t easy. After months or years of having someone to rely on, suddenly you are left to be on your own. Therefore, it’s natural to be sad. Allow yourself some time to grief.

3.     Forgiveness is the key – Forgive your partner for whatever he/she has done to hurt you. Sometimes people aren’t bad; they are just not compatible. So, no point sweating over it. It’s important to forgive before forgetting. All the anger has to go away else moving on becomes tougher than expected.

4.     Bring your focus back to yourself – Post-divorce, often people stop taking care of themselves. However, it’s crucial to have a proper routine and look your best. This helps to make new friends and socialize confidently and continue to attract like-minded people. You need a good support system to move on from the heartbreak. Therefore, surround yourself with trusted friends on all occasions.

5.     Follow your dreams – Often, in order to make a marriage or relationship work, you have to give up on your goals and dreams. So, use this time to redirect your energies and channelize them towards something that you always wanted to do. Find out what makes you happy and do it.

6.     See a therapist to get professional help – If you are going through post-divorce woes, feel free to connect to a therapist to fasten the healing process and move towards your goals in life. Sometimes, what we cannot do individually, a therapist or a professional can help us achieve it.

Remember to be compassionate towards yourself. Everything takes time. 

Feel free to connect with Shivanya Yogmayaa, Relationship Coach, to take on a U turn to a New Start that life is offering you!