Slow Poisoning

Jealousy, Possessiveness and Suspicion: The three devils of Relationships

There are millions of relationships and each one of them have problems of their own kind. The internet is filled with articles about probable relationship problems, suggestions, reasons related to them and so on. Well, this one article is a little different from all of them.

I want to discuss today, how jealousy, possessiveness and suspicion, spoil an otherwise blissful relationship. And, it goes without saying how these three monsters are so prevalent in this era of digital relationships.

Let’s start with a few real-life examples I’ve witnessed around me, which made me write about it now:

1. Sakshi and Akshay have been together for 2 years and both of them have different jobs and far apart homes. They manage to meet once in 2 weeks and on rest of the days talk for only 1 hour altogether in 24 hours. Things were going well until Akshay’s cute jealousy over time turned into serious possessiveness. He always suspected that she might be unfaithful to him with her male colleagues. Akshay used to call Sakshi repeatedly during her office hours and forced her to quit her job. Eventually, things got ugly and they broke up.

2. Rajini and Rahul have been married for 10 years. There came a time when their marriage began losing its charm and Rajini started becoming suspicious about their marriage falling apart. She started to control Rahul and did every possible thing to prevent him from talking to other women. She stopped him from attending any party without her, used to check his phone behind his back and several other things out of her possessiveness. In spite of many efforts, Rahul couldn’t handle Rajini’s over-possessive behaviour anymore and ended up filing for a divorce.

3. Priya and Sahil are 21 years old, college pass-out and have been dating each other for 4 years. They had met on Tinder, things felt right in place and they have been together since. However, Sahil would feel insecure whenever Priya talked to other boys, and this always came in between their happiness. He got extremely jealous, and constantly tried to control her while she always defended it as just a friendly conversation with other boys. Their mutual friends often helped them through their difficult phases but Sahil just couldn’t adapt to it and hired a detective to keep a watch on her. She found about it  – and it tore their relationship apart.

Looking at the above instances, it’s clear that feelings like suspicion, possessiveness and jealousy will always end up destroying your relationship if not controlled beforehand. Now, a little of everything is fine, but it’s dangerous when it goes to the extreme.

But how do you decide if it’s going the wrong way? Here are a few signs:

And the signs of possessiveness can vary. However, when the time comes, you yourself will understand the difference between innocent jealousy and extreme possessiveness.

If you’re in such a situation, relationship counselling can help you resolve the issue. At times, a therapy session from an experienced person can help couples figure out the issue and the steps to be taken to resolve the same. Just like Rajini and Rahul did… and now they are living happily together.

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