Smartphones & Dying Relationship

Although Smartphones help us stay connected, they are breaking more relationships than they are connecting.

True or False? Let’s Reflect… 

• Would you enjoy distracted eyes and half-attention when sitting or lying next to your partner?
• Isn’t it stealing your quality and valuable time together?
• Doesn’t the temptation to sneak into your partner’s phone gallery/chats cause misunderstandings & suspicion leading to heartbreak?
• Isn’t creating memories more about feeling the essence of spectacular places and breathing in their beauty… rather than shooting selfies?
• Can sex-texting even come close to replacing the intimacy of a real-time conversation?
• Isn’t the smartphone becoming a nuisance in family gatherings and lovers private time?
• How much has the smartphone encroached upon real connection in your life?

Have we gone gaga over whatsapping?

Have we got hooked?

Are we not in control ?

Are we not sensitive enough to switch off notifications & distractions?

Can you relate to the anxiety that one feels when their phone runs out of battery or it accidentally stops working?? Well there is an actual term for it, “NOMOPHOBIA”. It is an abbreviation for “no-mobile-phone phobia” which is affecting our younger generation much more seriously than it is deemed to be. 

There was also a situation where a marriage ended because the young man was addicted to gaming. He spent most of his evenings and weekends playing the game. His wife recalls being intimate with him only three times in the six months that they stayed married. After trying all sorts of tactics, she finally chose to escape the marriage and her partner never even contacted her or asked for an explanation!

To account for the seriousness of it, this is what Forbes has to say on smartphone addiction, “A brain on smartphone is the same as a brain on cocaine: we get an instant high every time our screen lights up with a new notification. It’s all thanks to dopamine, the feel-good chemical that gets released every time you do something you enjoy, like eating your favorite meal or getting a hundred likes on your latest Instagram post. Dopamine reinforces (and motivates) behaviour that makes us feel good and, in turn, can create addiction.”

While texting on a smartphone it is easy to hide feelings by using a different smiley. Hiding behind a screen also enables people to avoid healthy confrontation, which is necessary for a real relationship. This ease is creating a comfortable bubble which people are slowly refusing to leave. The problem here is that this bubble is blocking real-world interactions with people who are actually close by. Virtual hugs are replacing the warmth of real hugs and connection.

In all honesty, most people would agree that they have difficulty with real world interactions but rather than facing those difficulties it is more comfortable to hide inside the bubble. That being said, there are certain ways through which we can actually balance our virtual and real life:

1. Dedicate certain hours that you are going to spend with your partner without any interruption from the mobile phone. Use these durations to interact with each other and get to know each other better. A small date in the nearest coffee shop, a gym workout together, or a nice walk in the nearest park would do. Find time to create a world which is only for the two of you.

2. Inform your partner regarding your work schedule and have a mutual understanding to give each other the necessary space. Dedicate a particular time just to deal with your online work, emails, messages etc. It is easier to wrap them up in one go rather than checking them repeatedly throughout the day.

3.Turn your cell phones off one hour before bed. It will improve the quality of your sleep. It will also give you a little time to hug your partner, have small discussions regarding your dreams and goals. You both can spend that time reading together or simply holding each other and having your own fairytale moments. Or you can use your creativity and experiment with your sex life.

Remember, smartphones connects us to the people who are far away but it also distances us from the people who are around us. So it is important in any relationship to make some time for each other, distraction free. We need to understand and embrace the imperfections of our world which will never be like the photo shopped, filtered virtual version of it. 

STAY AWARE BE SENSITIVE …