Together & Yet Apart

Married and yet not together, this could be your story too. It’s becoming even more common now – living life as strangers under the same roof. No way to escape nor ever finding a way to bridge the marital issues. Living a lie until death do us apart became their only way of lifeless life.

We all have been taught that marriage is a union of two souls bonded for eternal life. Two individuals come together emotionally and physically to find love in each other that lasts forever. However, as soothing it sounds, things aren’t like this always. Marriage is not a fairytale bliss for every couple. Few rituals may bring two people together but without love and affection, their souls can never unite.

You might think that if you’re living your happy married life right now, it will remain like this forever. Well, nothing is constant. This situation of becoming distant from your partner (the one who lives with you) might arise at any point of time. Be it 6 months or 16 years after marriage, loneliness in married life can arise due to several reasons and at times can last forever.

Feeling confused or relatable? Let’s understand this better with a few examples:

1. Inevitable Extra Marital Intrusion

The concept of an extramarital affair is now wide and open in society. People might not accept it but everyone is aware of its increasing numbers. Like in Raghav & Shilpa’s case. It’s been 3 years since they got married. But they haven’t even spent 30 days together during their marital period. While Raghav moved to a different city for his work, Shilpa had to stay back to take care of her in-laws. She remains busy in her household chores 24*7, completely unaware of her husband’s affair in another city. He spends all his time with his girlfriend while Shilpa gets only 1 call every15 days or so. Obviously, she doesn’t find any companionship or affection from her husband.

2. Sexless Marriage Fake Lives

Five years of marriage, a happy well-settled family yet the feeling of love and attraction never came in. This is how Raj and Shruti’s married life is, trying every way out to bring a spark in their relationship. One thing that has been prominently missing from their married life is the lack of a physical relationship. Raj was never physically attracted to his wife and so a sexual relationship never sparked between the two. As a result, they could never feel connected towards each other and are now just 2 separate people pretending to be happy together.

3. Changing Priorities Pulled Apart

It was marital bliss for Ankit and Shivani when they tied the knot 10 years ago. Like any happy couple, they spent good times with each other, went on vacations and after 2 years, had a daughter as well. But then, Shivani got fully occupied in motherly responsibilities and couldn’t manage any time for Ankit. Despite many efforts for the past 6 years, the two now are just parents and nothing like husband and wife. The love and attraction have vanished and the conversation only includes topics like family matters or business issues. The parenting responsibilities have completely overshadowed the love they had towards each other. Stress and boredom has replaced the spark and charm the two initially had.

4. Compelled Marriage Alliance

Anirudh is a businessman and Priya is a fashion designer. They had a big fat marriage, arranged by their parents. Due to family reasons, they had a courtship period of only a month and before they could actually know each other, they got married. It’s been a year, they still don’t know each other, adjusting and adapting to situations, sleeping with each other, but love is nowhere around the corner. In a situation wherein both of them are from completely different backgrounds, it was very important for them to know and accept each other’s priorities beforehand. Currently after marriage, they are also unable to take out time from work to spend with each other. As a result, they look like a happy couple but have no emotional connect.

5. Challenged By Physical Disabilities

Rahul and Richa got married 20 years back and have 2 children. They had a happy life until 5 years back when Richa met with an accident and her legs got paralyzed. They consulted many doctors but none of them could treat her. Everyone eventually adapted to her situation but what got impacted was the affection they both shared. Due to several reasons related to her physical disability, the couple got distant and are now just a responsibility for each other. He takes good care of her but just as a duty and has lost the attraction or charm he had for her. She, on the other hand, tries every bit to improve her married life but nothing works out for them.

Needless to say, these are just a few examples out of many, wherein married couples fall out of love and stay together only to fulfil the responsibilities. Eventually, they all get used to it and just monotonously spend days with each other.

Just like in the above situations, each one of them had its own reasons whatsoever to fall out of love or to bear the fact that their partner isn’t in love with them anymore. They gradually realised that the person they got married to is now just a partner on legal papers with no emotional connect. In situations like these, either the person finds love somewhere else or just adapts to the fact that this is how the rest of the married life would beㅡlifeless and emotionless.

However, there is always a third way and this time it’s all about bridging the gap by finding the middle path. Relationship counselling is what couples like these require. In most cases, couples are afraid to talk about their problems and this is why their situation never improves. This is when relationship coaches come into the picture to hear them out and provide a solution.

There’s always a way…

Give your marriage another chance and consult us today, before it’s too late. One appointment can change your marital struggle into bliss, and needless to say, it’s worth it.