Why Pre-Marital Counselling

Why most would be bride and groom should consider Pre-Marital Counselling? As a counselor for many married couples I see that chaos and complications are inevitable but if pre-marital counselling is done before the marriage , it ensures our preparation of new life and harmony with our partner. 

 

Marriage is a very complicated relation. It is not only a union of two individuals but also a bond of two families. Therefore, pre-marital counselling becomes indispensable in order to get some understanding about this union.

 

Pre-marital counselling is a type of therapy that every couple should go through before tying the knot to maintain harmony between the two.

Let’s consider two situations:

1) Abhishek and Aarohi decided to get married. Their families met and fixed a date on which they finally tied the knot. Later, they had arguments almost on a daily basis. Aarohi couldn’t adjust in her new life. Finally, they decided to go separate
ways. Now, this can be avoided if they had a proper conversation and counselling before finalizing the matrimony.

2) Reema and Gaurav liked each other’s profile and they enrolled for a pre-marital counselling. They met the counsellor and went through a few sessions that helped them know each other and therefore, have a strong base for their relationship. Therefore, later on they could resolve their arguments in a healthy manner.

A premarital counsellor usually asks questions related to your life, past, relationship history, hobbies, interests and other such questions to know about you and your partner. This kind of premarital counselling can range from 1 to 12 sessions. It is recommended to at least attend 5 to 6 such sessions before going ahead with the marriage. 

 

Here are some ways in which a pre-marital counselling helps the couples:

 

 

1.    Discovering Each Other – It helps the couple to understand each other and know their interests, strengths and weaknesses. It also allows them to discover what they enjoy and what they do not.

 

2. Understanding His and Her Needs – The questions and topics discussed in these sessions lead the couple to understand each other’s needs from the relation.

 

3. Health and Intimacy – Since in an arranged marriage situation, the couple is often unaware about each other’s medical history, such things can be discussed in the counselling session. The important questions related to intimacy and future that they may be reluctant to ask before can be addressed in such sessions.

 

4. Adjusting to Your New Life – Marriage marks the onset of a new life for both individuals. During such sessions, the counsellor often shares some tips to adjust to the new life that begins after marriage.

 

5. Relating to Your In-laws and New Family – To make a marriage work, the couple needs to relate to their in-laws and the new family. The ladies need to be more accommodating in this situation; however, it is important for men too to be familiar
with their in-laws and be involved with their new family.

 

6. Accepting Differences Harmoniously – Now, every couple will have their fair share of differences. The pre-marital counsellor helps you to acknowledge these differences and accept them for a harmonious relationship.

 

7. Art of Managing Conflicts – The therapist or the counsellor also addresses the conflicts that are often unavoidable. Every relation has conflicts but managing them effectively is a trick to be mastered. If these conflicts aren’t dealt properly, they may blow out of proportion. It is therefore important to understand each other’s nature and function accordingly to work your way around the arguments.

 

8. Nurturing Love, Romance and Chemistry – If you are going ahead with the matrimony, you must understand how to gradually foster love and romance and how to build a strong chemistry as you grow into the relationship.