Wounded Childhood

Wounds hurts. But the Good News is, what has injured you is an opportunity that contains the seeds of your liberation!

As parents we shape the lives of our children… and as children we borrowed much from our parents as role models.  A trauma with your mother or father is addressed as a “wound” because it damages the body-mind and if unresolved leaves a scar on your emotional wellbeing.

We all come into the world as babies who need nurturing, care, love, acceptance, safety etc. The father or mother wound is the absence of this love from your birth to adulthood. The wound can be caused by the following :-        

• Separation or Absence
• Neglected or Unattended 
• Mental or Physical Abuse    
• Excess of Control
• Domination
• Dramatic Behaviours or Melodrama

The after-effect of a father or mother wound causes low self-esteem, thus making us try to prove our worthiness. We avoid the pain and healing we need which then creates a void thereby misleading our perception of our Self Image. And soon it becomes our adulthood programming or conditioning.

Wounded Self Image

When we are hurt by mother or father being uncaring, indifferent, angry, violent, distant or withdrawn, absent/abandoning, condemning or critical, alcoholic or drugged, we build on a story within us about ourselves:                                             

• I am unworthy or undeserving
• I am unloved or unlovable   
• I am stupid or dumb                                          
• I am not enough or complete                       
• I am incompetent or incapable

And slowly it poisons our life as an on-going story  

Such wounds impact Our Wellbeing:

• Our physical health/wellbeing
• Our emotional health/wellbeing 
• Our relationship health/wellbeing 
• Our social health/wellbeing

Thus creating ripples to generations ahead with the following consequences:      

• Sexual addiction 
• Intimacy Inhibitions  
• Depression and suicide            
• Career Issues
• Drug and alcohol abuse 
• Financial Instability
• Divorce or Marital Issues
• Behavioral issues
• Damaged Personality

 These feelings and behaviors may arise in your relationships with others too.

Father or Mother Abuse & Safety Issues

If you did not receive sufficient protection as a child, as an adult you may feel unsafe and unsure. This may have occurred when you were physically abused or mentally harassed. It may also case intimacy issues as an adult.      

There is no “magic bullet” to release all your past trauma or create instant feelings of safety. But if we relive those moments through inner child healing or under hypnosis… release feelings of fear, loss, and confusion as they are arising and receive those feelings with safety protection and compassion, they will begin to lose their grip. Gradually you will see that they surface less often, with less intensity and last for shorter span.

Father Mother Wounds and Empowerment Issues

Whether the father or mother was empowering or dis-empowering towards the child, determines the child’s confidence building or loss of confidence. Empowering is achieved by providing education and skill building opportunities. Mistakes or failure is treated gently. Parents may boost your interest in many hobbies or talents than limiting or imposing their own expectations on you. If you are struggling with empowerment, then you may be facing anxiety and ineptitude issues and unwillingness to try new things. You may discover that the mother or father you have internalized is always critical or judgmental. Mindfulness Meditation and healing teaches you that this voice is mere thinking which erodes one’s power through self doubt or procrastination.

As your self-acceptance grows, you will discover that the limitations in your life can become the gateways to freedom. You realize that dis-identifying and disassociating with parents expectations leads to a state of happiness and empowerment. When it does not occur, then you may develop a sense of guilt, of not knowing or not feeling entitled to one’s place in life.

As mindfulness about the father or mother wound begins to expand both your heart and mind, more insights/awareness becomes available to you. Therefore, the wounds that you once thought to define or limit you, start to lose its impact.

The Past starts to Wither and You Begin to Blossom…

IF YOU ARE READY TO MOVE ON LET-GO RELEASE RENEW RECOGNIZE REWRITE YOUR NEW STORY …

Shivanya Yogmayaa

Relationship Coach